Epiphany

I've been doing a lot of yard work the last few days and I love it. Its hard work but I get to think while I do it. Its meditational even. I love the constant tempo and repeating actions. Its almost like drumming in its consitency; it allows me to move to the beat of my work and think at the same time. Yeah, I think while I drum, isn't that cool?

I remember the first time I thought before I said something. It was an amazing epiphany. I thought, "Wow, I guess this is what happens when you grow up. You start thinking. Wow....." It was crazy.

Tool
Lateralus

Black then white are all I see in my infancy.
red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
lets me see.
As below, so above and beyond, I imagine
drawn beyond the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.

Black then white are all I see in my infancy.
red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
lets me see there is so much more
and beckons me to look through to these infinite possibilities.
As below, so above and beyond, I imagine
drawn outside the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition leaving all these opportunities behind.

Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line.
Reaching out to embrace the random.
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.

I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm, to feel connected
enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power,
to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral
of our divinity and still be a human.

With my feet upon the ground I lose myself
between the sounds and open wide to suck it in.
I feel it move across my skin.
I'm reaching up and reaching out.
I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.

Spiral out. Keep going...

*Teehee*

Ever since I had that kickin' four hour conversation with Danielle Wednesday night/Thursday morning I've been feeling super spiritual and super centered. Its nice.

I read Celeenie Beenie's blog a moment a go and I'm going to comment on it when I remember what it was about.....

Celeen is such an amazing individual. I absoultely love being around her, talking to her and reading her thoughts.

Now, for that comment- Society has the power to judge us, to classify us into molds and labels because we have given society that power ourselves, sometimes even reveling in those classifications. We could choose to give ourselves that same power but most times we don't. All we have to do to claim that power is to decide that we are ourselves and that society's values and classifications don't matter to us. That we are perfect as we are and that though we are not going to stop evolving that we are content with who we are.

Aren't we always ourselves? Its always bothered me that at times we say that we aren't being ourself, that we're being fake or otherwise. I know there are times when people blatantly lie and decieve others in social situations but aren't we always who we are? On the first day of eighth grade I dressed up with makeup, curled hair, short shorts and a tight t-shirt. I was trying to fit into the popular group. I was pretending and yet I was STILL myself. The thing is that you can't hide who you are, no matter how hard you try. You are always yourself, through and through, whether you want to believe it or not. You can't hide your soul, your feelings, your thoughts and ideas from yourself. They are always there, everpresent and you have to deal with them. You can't hide who you are, you are always you. Always.

This seems random, but its not... Laughter isn't the best medicine for everything but it works so well at times. I'm glad that I'm a person who can be randomly silly in order to produce a theraputic laugh. I'm glad that I can listen too. *Does a happy dance*.

Happy Song

Doody doody dooooooooo

I thank you. *bows*.

To be centered is not to be up or down, left or right, happy or sad. To be centered is to be content because to be content is to be neither happy or sad, left or right, up or down. Word.

I've always wondered if I was dramatizing my own emotions or if I was in fact truely feeling what I percieved. There have been times in my life when I have written friends or myself, when I have spoken, or when I have just expressed my feelings that I have felt that maybe, perhaps, what I was feeling was pretend. Not like I was purposely making myself feel a way or feel an abundance of a certain emotion but as if everything I was feeling was muted, not fake, but some kind of sub-emotional reactions. I guess I wonder if my emotions are justifiable, if I have a right to feel the way I do. Of course I do have a right to emotion and any emotion that I choose. Its the choosing part that is confusing. I believe that everyone has a choice about emotion. You can choose to be angry, you can choose to be happy. Its just doing it that matters.

When Josh was still gay (that sounds so silly) he and I read a set of books by Mercedes Lackey together, the first being Magic's Pawn. The protagonist, Vanyel, is an aristocratic teenager that lives with his family in a castle a good three days horseback ride from the main city of the kingdom. Oh, just by the way, these people have magic and fun stuff like that but no guns or bazookas, just fyi. Vanyel is tormented by his father and the rest of his family because he is not a huge man of brute strength but a slender agile fighter and musician. Because of this constant torment he begins to seperate himself and he goes into this ice mode in which he doesn't allow anything to effect him in any way. He surrenders to the ice and keeps himself from feeling joy, happiness, fear, oppression, anything but constant emptiness. He hates it and yet it was his choice. He put himself through it, no one else did. It's quite silly and yet amazingly enticing. We all do it. We all choose emptiness at some point in our life whether we want to admit it or not. I know I have. I guess its just part of learning but you would thing that we could learn from those who had gone before us. History shouldn't have to repeat itself but it almost always does. Maybe we just need to wake up and smell the coffee, get a good whiff of it and say, wait a minute, I don't have to do that again. Its a nice thought.

Silence.

Breathing.

Grounding.

Energy.

Understanding.

Learning.

I should really do this more often.......................

Our Thoughts Are Prayers

Our thoughts are prayers
And we are always praying
Our thoughts are prayers
Listen to what you're saying
Seek a higher conscienceness
A state of peacefullness
And know that God is always there
And every thought becomes a prayer

Hair today, gone tomorrow.....

Yeah, its true, I cut my hair.... gave it to Locks Of Love... I love it.

Its short, but not really short. Muahahahahahaha, I'm just going to make you all wonder and then you'll have to wait and see me at bi-regi or church or whatever. I love it *giggles*.

Getting my hair cut reminded me of Erin and Avril Lavigne. Muey interestante, aye?

Erin gave her hair to Locks of Love last summer, except she gave ALL her hair. It was a little bit stunning at first, looking at her I mean, but I got used to it and I liked it. I love her hair now, in fact I kind of wanted mine to look like that, though thats not what I ended up doing. Anyways, Erin and I always ended up listening to Avril Lavigne's cd when she and I hung out/dated. Its a good cd ant it always reminds me of her.

Went to Austin this weekend, it was a very interesting experince. I think that I have friends in band, which is absolutely amazing. I really bonded with Mendy, the new Spirit of Joshua drum major for next year. She and I started talking when she told me she was trying out for dm and we roomed together in Austin and had some great conversations about guilt, old love and spiritual theory. It was really crazy.

By the way, I also saw several Austinites this weekend as well, which I truly enjoyed. Daniel, Analise, Celeen and Amber all came and hung out with me at my hotel room and Vanessa came and visited me at the contest while we were practicing and Analise watched the performance. I love my Austinites but I miss them oh so much. I almost started crying on the way home just because I knew I was leaving all of my best friends behind and heading back to Joshua, alone, without friends. Hopefully, now that I'm close to Mendy, that will change.

We went to County Line on Saturday night with the band. When we got done eating, a couple of us went outside and sat next to the water on a large cement square near the end of the property. I was very quiet. I missed you.

You all need to go see Bruce Almighty. It is amazing. It was an absolutely amazing movie, funny with underlying spirituality.

Oh, my ensemble got a one *does a dance*. The judge even asked what my name was and said on the paper and to the ensemble how much he enjoyed my playing. It made me feel very special.

I have graduation tonight, I get to be an usher and I get to listen to Donovan give his speech. I don't think that I've talked to him once in the last week. I'm going to break up with him soon, though not tonight, because that would suck big poo poo.

Heaven
Live

You don't need no friends
get back your faith again
you have the power to believe
another dissident
take back your evidence
it has no power to decieve

I'll believe it when I see it, for myself

I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset and I perceive

I sit with them all night
everything they say is right
but in the morning they were wrong
I'll be right by your side
come hell or water high
down any road you choose to roam

I'll believe it when I see it for myself

I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset and I perceive, yeah

darling, I believe, Oh Lord
sometimes it's hard to breathe, Lord
at the bottom of the sea, yeah yeah

I'll believe it when I see it for myself

I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset and I perceive

I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my daughter, and I believe.
I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sunset
I can see the sunset
I can see the sunset
I don't need no one
Ohhhh
I don't need no one
I don't need no one
I don't need no one
To tell me about heaven
I believe
I believe it, yeah

Soooooooooooo.......

Danielle's phone is off, but I left her a message. Gosh, that girl is amazing.

She reminds me of Celeen. Celeen is such a great person, she is another person who leaves me breathless after conversations or notes or random journal entries. I think its the way they clearly outline their thoughts and the fact that their thoughts are so abstract. I don't really know and I don't wish to classify their personalities but I know they rock my world. Word.

Wow, I feel so inspired right now, just from reading what Danielle wrote. Its not particuarly what she wrote but how she wrote. She has yet to turn her journal into a mundane discussion of daily life but has continued to use it as a place of catharsis and release. She writes as if she was thinking directly on to the page, as if the fingers which type the words are not connected by nerves, muscle and bones to the brain, to the introspective thoughts, but as if the fingers contain each idea, each thought. Its as if I have had the honor to look upon her psyche and to delve deeply into the things she ponders daily. I want to write like that........

I'm going to try and call her again and then I'm going to call Celeen. I really want to talk to one of those girls...................

Wow

Isn't it strange how one single thing can change a person's life. How someone's words can stun a person breathless. I have spent the last forty-five minutes reading and I can tell you that I am amazed.

Danielle from Dallas (I realize now that I don't know her last name) gave me the addy to her online journal. I read every single entry and I cannot tell you how *attempting to think of the appropriate word* breathless I feel right now. She is truly a gorgeous soul. She discusses her thoughts and her days with such clarity and introspection that the reader must be instantly captivated by her words. There seems to be no duplicity in her thoughts or actions; they are all purely set into place definitly by the truths she has learned. The girl is only a sophomore and she holds such wisdom, shows such spirituality. She is truly an abundance of light.

Wow, I have to call her and tell her how stinking awesome she is right now. I'll check you all later and I may even be back to right more.

*waves*

READY..................... GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is the super fucking good song of the day. I hope you all enjoy it, I sure have. Oh, and by their cd August and Everything After, its more than worth it.

Anna Begins
Counting Crows

My friend assures me "it's all or nothing"
I am not worried- I am not overly concerned
My friend implores me " for one time only,
make an exception." I am not not worried
Wrap her up in a package of lies
Send her off to a coconut island
I am not worried - I am not overly concerned
with the status of my emotions
"oh", She says, "were changing."
But were always changing
It does not bother me to say this isn't love
Because if you don't want to talk about it then it isn't love
and I guess I'm going to have to live WITHOUT
but, I'm sure there's something in a shade of gray
or something in between
and I can always change my name if that's what you mean
My friend assures me "it's all or nothing`
But I am not really worried
I am not overly concerned
You try to tell your self the things you try tell your self to make
yourself forget
to make your self forget
I am not worried
"If it's love" she said, "then were gonna have to think about the
consequences"
She can't stop shaking and I can t stop touching her and.....
This time when kindness falls like rain
It washes her away and Anna begins to change her mind
"these seconds when I'm shaking leave me shuddering
for days" she says.
And I'm not ready for this sort of thing
But I'm not gonna break
And I'm not going to worry about it anymore
I'm not gonna bend. And I'm not gonna break and
I'm not gonna worry about it anymore
It seems like I should say "as long as this is love..."
But it's not all that easy so maybe I should just
snap her up in a butterfly net-
Pin her down on a photograph album
I am not worried
I've done this sort of thing before
But then I start to think about the consequences
Because I don't get no sleep in a quiet room and...
The time when kindness falls like rain
It washes me away and Anna begins change my mind
And every time she sneezes I believe it's love
and oh lord.... I'm not ready for this sort of thing
She s talking in her sleep-it s keeping me awake
And Anna begins to toss and turn
And every word is nonsense but I understand it and
oh lord. I m not ready for this sort of thing
Her kindness bangs a gong
It's moving me along and Anna begins to fade away
It s chasing me away. She dissappears, and oh lord I'm not ready for this sort
of thing

Shit

I am really super fucking tired. Yay for me.

I am also still in love with someone who I thought I was over a long time ago and its causing me very much not very fun thought. Yay for me.

I've tried cursing her, cursing me, ignoring her, ignoring my feelings, I've tried taking her out of my life, I've tried deep breaths and releasing, I've tried time and patience and gratitude and wisdom and everything else; all of these still have yet to work.

I'm ready to let go, why won't it happen?

Fucking A.......

How Can I Help You Say Goodbye?
Patty Loveless

Through the back window of a '59 wagon
I watched my best friend Jamie slippin' further away
I kept on waving 'till I couldn't see her
And through my tears, I asked again why we couldn't stay
Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye?

I sat on our bed, he packed his suitcase
I held a picture of our wedding day
His hands were trembling, we both were crying
He kissed me gently and then he quickly walked away
I called up Mama, she said, Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye?

Sitting with Mama alone in her bedroom
She opened her eyes, and then squeezed my hand
She said, I have to go now, my time here is over
And with her final word, she tried to help me understand
Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye?

How can I help you to say goodbye?

Ouch.....

I pulled my quads (thats a muscle in your upper forleg for those of you that don't know) on both legs today. I'm in immense pain.

So, yeah, Erin wrote me a letter and she was absoultely right. I am indecisive and I am afraid of commitment. Oh, and well even though she didn't say this, I'm still in love with Analise, or at least it feels that way.

Sheeesh, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel anymore. I guess that I'm not supposed to feel anything, just be, no expectations.

That is so hard.

I really need some closure with Analise, I need for this to feel like its over, because it doesn't right now. I want and need to be done with this romantic relationship. Damn it.

Donovan is so wonderful, I just wish he would touch me. I don't think a lot of you understand how shy this boy is. The first time we held hands was prom, that was two weeks ago and it also was the last time we held hands. He hasn't initiated any physicality between the two of us in the last two weeks and it is very frusterating. And, even if I try to lean on him or put my head on his shoulder, he doesn't put his arm around me or touch me any in way. This is left me feeling very deprived and lonely.

Joshua has a supreme lack of decent boys to date *happened to grab the last good one*, but on the other hand, they have a multitude of girls who are wonderfully dateable, in fact, they are even gorgeous and intelligent. They all are so amazing and it is so hard to concentrate around them. I tutor a girl in math and everytime I bend over to look at her paper and then look at her to explain, I can't help but burn to kiss her. Its the same with Rose. She is so insecure in herself and she always comes to me for support. I can't but help feel drawn to her. I don't think that I would feel attracted to all of these girls if Donovan and I were closer, physically and mentally.

Now, when I'm talking about being physically close to Donovan or to anyone really, I don't mean get into their pants or make out with them. I mean that I want to be able to hold their hand or lean against them or feel comfortable randomly flopping down next to then and snuggling. Thats really all I want right now and its frusterating that he feels so uncomfortable doing so.

I am so tired and my the muscles in my legs feel as if they are pulling apart.

Good Bless.

Ouch.....

I pulled my quads (thats a muscle in your upper forleg for those of you that don't know) on both legs today. I'm in immense pain.

So, yeah, Erin wrote me a letter and she was absoultely right. I am indecisive and I am afraid of commitment. Oh, and well even though she didn't say this, I'm still in love with Analise, or at least it feels that way.

Sheeesh, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel anymore. I guess that I'm not supposed to feel anything, just be, no expectations.

That is so hard.

I really need some closure with Analise, I need for this to feel like its over, because it doesn't right now. I want and need to be done with this romantic relationship. Damn it.

Donovan is so wonderful, I just wish he would touch me. I don't think a lot of you understand how shy this boy is. The first time we held hands was prom, that was two weeks ago and it also was the last time we held hands. He hasn't initiated any physicality between the two of us in the last two weeks and it is very frusterating. And, even if I try to lean on him or put my head on his shoulder, he doesn't put his arm around me or touch me any in way. This is left me feeling very deprived and lonely.

Joshua has a supreme lack of decent boys to date *happened to grab the last good one*, but on the other hand, they have a multitude of girls who are wonderfully dateable, in fact, they are even gorgeous and intelligent. They all are so amazing and it is so hard to concentrate around them. I tutor a girl in math and everytime I bend over to look at her paper and then look at her to explain, I can't help but burn to kiss her. Its the same with Rose. She is so insecure in herself and she always comes to me for support. I can't but help feel drawn to her. I don't think that I would feel attracted to all of these girls if Donovan and I were closer, physically and mentally.

Now, when I'm talking about being physically close to Donovan or to anyone really, I don't mean get into their pants or make out with them. I mean that I want to be able to hold their hand or lean against them or feel comfortable randomly flopping down next to then and snuggling. Thats really all I want right now and its frusterating that he feels so uncomfortable doing so.

I am so tired and my the muscles in my legs feel as if they are pulling apart.

Good Bless.

I don't know what I want to write about.....

Blah blah blah blah blah blah. Thank you *bows and exits the stage*

So I'm thinking about quiting band all together next year. It would leave me with enough time to get a job and then I wouldn't feel guilty about Zack (older sibling syndrome) or about not being on winter line, which I most definatly cannot do next year. *Sighs* Oh well, I will decide after bi-regi.

I'm really excited about bi-regi now that I think about it. I wrote down the format for my speech on the plane ride to Houston and it was just so amazingly inspiring for me. I've found a way to link science, logic, common sense, emotion and spirituality. I think I just might get regi.......

I have this little book where I write down ideas and thoughts and I have other people write in it too. In fact, thats where I wrote my regi speech.... Anyways, my friend Sarah from school was looking at it today and I was explaining my ideas and things about the people who have written to me in it. It really makes me miss my YOU buddies, but it also makes me happy because I was reminded of the great amount of people in YOU that love me and support me. *Does a dance*

I'm needing this relationship with Donovan to get physical pretty soon. I'm dying from lack of touch and I have started to day dream about various people.... namely Erin, Megan and Saska. Whoaaa boy. Or girl. None of that. I really do like Donovan but I need a chance alone with him. Soon.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, I'm about to say something that will either make you blush or make you laugh your ass off.

SEX.

I love how everyone gets so sensitive around that word. Sex, sex, sex, orgasm, sex. Or, as my mother once aptly put it- penispenisboobyfart!!!!!!!!

If you really want to know, don't ask. In fact, even those of you who don't want to know, you don't ask either.

I feel rather silly right now. I guess thats what the mention of SEX does to me. Lol, or not.

Dude, I should just delete all of that, shouldn't I? Oh well....

Hmmmmm.... I wonder what happened to Danielle. I haven't talked to her in a couple weeks and talking to her always makes me happy. *Blushes* I still have a slight crush on her, but she's super awesome so its understandable.

Yikes, it sounds like I'm all up on all of these girls while I'm dating Donovan. Honestly, I'm not. My main problem is, well, what the hell do you do with a boy??? I know anatomically how sex would work, but how do you kiss a boy or touch a boy. I mean, I've got it down pretty well with girls- touch them how I want to be touched- but boys are different. Duh..... obviously Rebecca!!! But, seriously, what should I do? I have no idea, though the first plan is to teach Donovan how to kiss, since he has never done that before *teehee* Its a little bit exciting.

Meh, thats enough of that. I'm exhuasted and I haven't been getting much sleep. In fact, I should go to bed right now. I think I will *waves tata*

P.S. This is how I felt on prom night.....

On the Verge
Collin Raye

Well they shouldn't have played that good
I got carried away and let the music
Go to my head

Well she shouldn't have worn that dress
The way it curled around when she was spinning
Just killed me dead

My heart began to tell my body and my soul
That it had gotten in the mood to lose control

Oh no, when did neon light turn into moonglow
When did that jukebox turn to a rainbow
I'm about to give into this urge

One more slow dance
With her arms around me
One more long glance
And nothing will slow me down
I got no chance,
If I'm not in love I'm on the verge

All I wanted to be was cool
It ain't my style to overheat,
Much less burn
But as we floated across the floor
All at once I flashed right past the point,
Of no return

And when we said goodnight the sun was on the rise
And any stars that hadn't set had fallen in my eyes

Oh no, when did neon light turn into moonglow
When did that jukebox turn to a rainbow
I'm about to give into this urge

One more slow dance
With her arms around me
One more long glance
And nothing will slow me down
I got no chance,
If I'm not in love I'm on the verge

*YIKES*

Super super busy that last few weeks people, but I guess I'll get to that. Oh, and by the way, I thought I had published the prom entry below this one a long time ago, but I guess I didn't *oops*.

Things to write about- Prom, Donovan, AP tests, band trip, Analise, Celeen.

Oh, and a side note, my mother is the most annoying person alive. Ok, well maybe not, but she really is pushing the limit right now.

Prom was great, exactly like a fairy tale. Everything went exactly how I hoped it would, even down to Donovan telling me he liked me and asking me out. We spent the entire night together, holding hands and dancing. He taught me how to dance, really dance, not something silly like booty dancing. It was wonderful.

So, now I'm going out with Donovan, which is nice. He's amazingly smart and really sweet, but he is also amazingly quiet, which of course is a challenge for outspoken me. I still like him a lot though and everyone says that we're perfect for each other. I'm also having problems with the whole lack of physical touch. I'm the first person he has dated so he is still really nervous about it and I'm just dying to kiss someone. I often find myself attracted to the girls around me and sometimes even thinking of past girlfriends. I like Donovan a lot but I need to move past me touching him and him jumping.

My AP tests have been kicking my butt, however, they are all finished. The Lit test wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and the US History had really easy essays. I'm worried about Bio but there isn't anything I can do about it now. *Sighs* Oh well.............

The real story behind the band trip is actually getting there to be honest, the rest isn't all that exciting. The directors scheduled the trip during the AP US History test so I couldn't come until after I took the test. So I took the test and then my mom drove me to Dallas-Love Field and I flew down to Houston where the beautiful Saska picked me up. At that point I was supposed to meet up with my directors and the rest of the band at the huge mall in Houston, also called the Galleria, and they weren't there. Sooooooooooooo, Saska and I hung out there for a few hours and then we sat infront of the wrong hotel for another two hours wating for my band. I had a really great time talking to her, it was honestly best part of the trip.

I feel very frusterated with Analise at the moment. It seems that she doesn't want to be close to me anymore. Yes, she has been writing me e-mails or asking me to call her, but everytime we talk its about surface area stuff like testing or homework. She won't tell me anything about her and Daniel or anything deeper than what she did at school today. On the other hand, I'm wondering if it wouldn't be better for me to just seperate myself from her. I'm still trying to deal with the leftovers of our relationship from August and nothing that I've tried so far has helped. Its really kind of strange, I'll be walking around or just standing in the bathroom and I'll say her name. It just pops out of my mouth randomly. Oh well.....

Celeen, thank you for reminding me to write, I realize that I haven't in a while but I've been busy out the butt. I just want to say that I love you and I want you to start writing again. Just put the whole situation behind you and go back to those insightful, spiritual, inspiring analysis' of life. I really do miss them. Don't live in the past, live for the now and what you're experincing. You, much like Saska, need to serve yourself.

Calling You
Blue October

Something that I can't quite explain
I'm so in love with you
You'll never take that away
And if I said a hundred times before
Expect a thousand more
Never take that away

Well expect me to be calling you to see
If you're ok when I'm not around
Asking if you love me,
I love the way you make it sound

Calling you to see
Do i try to hard to make you smile,
To make us smile

Well i will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping are you dreaming
If you're dreaming are you dreaming of me
I can't believe you actually picked me

I thought the world had lost its sway
Then I fell in love with you and you took that away
You take away the old, show me the new
And I feel like I can fly when i stand next to you

so while i'm on this phone,
a hundred miles from home,
i'll take the words you gave
and send them back to you

Well expect me to be calling you to see
If you're ok when I'm not around
Asking if you love me,
I love the way you make it sound

Calling you to see
Do i try to hard to make you smile,
To make us smile

Well I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping are you dreaming
If you're dreaming are you dreaming of me
I can't believe you actually picked me

Well I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping are you dreaming
If you're dreaming are you dreaming of me
I can't believe you actually picked me

Well I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping are you dreaming
If you're dreaming are you dreaming of me
I can't believe you actually picked me

Prom

It was truly a fairy tale experince. Everything went exactly right, even down to getting lost a few times so we could laugh. I never thought I would be the princess......

I'm A Believer
Smashmouth

I thought love was only true in fairy tales
Meant for someone else but not for me
Love was out to get me
That's the way it seemed
Disappointment haunted all my dreams
And then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her if I tried

I thought love was more or less a givin' thing
The more I gave, the less I got, oh yeah
What's the use in tryin'
All you get is pain
When I wanted sunshine, I got rain

And then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her if I tried

What's the use in tryin'
All you get is pain
When I wanted sunshine, I got rain

And then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her if I tried

Then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind
Now I'm a believer
ya ya ya ya ya ya
I'm a believer
I'm a believer