Please

Please read this song, buy it, download it, anything. It is amazing.

If I should fall
Barenaked Ladies

Look straight in the window
Try not to look below
Pretend I’m not up here
I try counting sheep
The sheep seem to shower
Off this office tower
It’s not pointing straight down
Can’t stop my knees

I wish I could fly
From this building
From this wall
And if I should try
Would you catch me
If I fall

My hands clench the squeegie
The seculars ring
Hang on to your wallet
Hang on to your rings
I cant look below me
Something will throw me

I curse at the wind storms
That October brings
I look straight in to the boardroom
A modern pharoh’s tomb
I’d gladly swap places
If they care to die
They line up at the window
Stare down into limbo
Frightened of jumping
In case they survive

I wish I could step
From this scaffold
Onto soft green pastures
Shopping malls
Then with my family
With my pastor
And my grandfather whose dead

I look straight in the mirror
Watch it become clearer
Look like a painter
Behind all the grease
But the paintings creating
And I’m just erasing
Crystal clear canvas
Is my masterpeice

I wish I could fly
From this building
From this wall
And if I should try
Would you catch me
If I fall

I wish I could fly
from this building
From this wall
and if I should try
Would you catch me
If I fall

When I fall
When I fall
When I fall
When I fall
When I…..hmmm..mmmm.

Distance is hopeless

A broken chance
A moment frozen in time
There is no alternative
No fork in the road
Distance conquers all
Love included

Love included.

Afterwards, the two lay intwinned, idly tracing the outlines of their lover's body. Their hearts melting into one beat, one moment, one touch...........

One day, I'm going to write a book.

Damn distance.

Rally kicked major ass.

Period.

Edgewood completely blew me away. I was a little concerned coming into the rally but I had no need to be. It was awesome.

It was an interesting rally for me. A lot of my friends who I usually hang out with weren't there. In fact, the only Cabinet members who were there were the regis and Kathryn. Even though I missed those wonderful people immensly, I got to know some really awesome people too. Katie and Cassie, twins from the Edgewood chapter, were the two people that I hung out the most with. They did a lot of the rally planning and it was only their second rally!!!!!!!!!! So, so amazing. I am very grateful to have met them.

I connected with a lot of Dallas people as well as a girl named Stephanie from the South Austin Chapter. I was feeling very alone on the way back, just from a lot of stuff that has happened in the past couple weeks and the fact that I was amazingly tired, and then there she was. We had a good four hour conversation and I ended up falling asleep sitting on her lap with my head on her shoulder. Very, very nice.

Oh, and I've realized that I hate men. Not man or a male person individually. Men, together, in general, are assholes. Long story that involves a soccer game, my skin tight goal pants and assholes standing behind me for a full forty minutes. Damn boys.

Where Is The Love?
Black Eyed Peas

People killin' people dyin'
Children hurtun' hear them cryin' Can you practice what you preach
Or would you turn the other cheek
FATHER FATHER FATHER help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cuz people got me got me questionin'
Where is the love (where is the love)


What's wrong with the world mama
People livin' like ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring ya trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists hea livin' in the USA
The big CIA, the Blood to the Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for ya own race
Then ya only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when ya hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Badness is what ya demonstrate and that's exactly how ANGER works and Operates
Nig, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love y'all, y'all

Chorus:

People killin' people dyin'
Children hurt, ain't even cryin'
Would you practice what you preach
Or would you turn the other cheek
FATHER FATHER FATHER help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cuz people got me got me questionin'
Where is the love (where is the love)
Where is the love
Where is the love, the love, the love

It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are these pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With the ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin' in
Makin' wrong decisions only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercova
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love y'all come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth y'all come on (I don't know)
Where's the love y'all

Repeat Chrous

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm getting olda, y'all people gets colda
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our own direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo, whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead of spreading love we spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive 'til love is found


Repeat Chorus til fade

Yay for Soccer, Mp3 Players, and Too Many Ex-Girlfriends, but not particuarly in that order!!!


Who Rocks The House???
I Say The Owls Rock The House
And When Those Owls Rock The House
They Rock It ALL THE WAY DOWN


Yeah, you got it, the Lady Owls won the Burleson Tournement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The first time in the history of Joshua that we've even been in the winners bracket and we so just dominated the scenario!!!!!!!!!!!!! We soooooo rock the house baby!!!!!!

I can't tell you how proud I am to be on that team. We started from rock bottom four years ago and now we're winning championships; it wasn't even just a good run of luck or a fluke. It was hard work and determination. It was everyone playing their hearts out and pushing themselves to their highest level and then stepping it up a level.

Thats our motto for the year- Shake it off and step it up. Yay for burrows *teehee*.

And inside jokes.

Analise came and stayed with me this weekend. That was interesting, good but interesting. She and Shands saw the championship game. I think I played decently at it........ Oh, wait, I'm talking about ex-girlfriends now, not soccer!!!!!!! Any way, we hung out with Megan (another ex-girlfriend) and my little brother Zack (most definetly not an ex-girlfriend, though he did hit on both of them!!!).

On a side note *teehee again* I just thought to myself...... "I wonder if I should out Shands......" ...... not at all thinking about what that meant. Shands is in no way gay, bi or even just a little bit bent. Sorry boys.....

Yikes, digression all over the place.... Back to the point- We hung out, had fun despite the little akward things that kept coming up, like Analise and my song or the continous talk of sex and hitting on each other. It was kind of fun actually *grins*.

On Sunday we all went to church and Mayra was there. Three ex-girlfriends in the room all at once. *EEP*. Yeah, so, I felt a tiny bit uncomfortable. Mayra left after church and I curled up on the couch and teared up a little until the three hot girls (Vanessa, Megan and Analise) that wanted to go out to lunch started tickling me. (Yikes, there is something grammatically wrong with that sentence!!!!!!! I just don't want to deal with it) I felt pretty bummed out all day. Megan is completely right, I need some time.

And now for something completely different!!!!!!!!!!

I got a 40GB CreAtive Nomad Jukebox Zen Xtra for Christmas. It just uploaded 522 songs in twenty minutes.

Yes, it does in fact rock the house.

Not as much as my soccer team though.

FEIGN
Shands Pemberton


Fake it?

Say you understand what I say as you watch other people walk down the boulevard

Fake it?

Laugh at the jokes that could never amuse you

Fake it?

Pretend what happened to me yesterday is interesting

Fake it?

Keep on talking, you don?t seem to like the uncomfortable silence

Fake it?

Pay too much for paint to mask the imperfections of your face

Fake it?.

Keep yourself busy with idle tinkering of your thoughts

Fake it?

Simply because there is nothing better to do

Fake it?

Don?t say what you mean or mean what you say

Fake it?

Pretend that you like the person on the other side of the looking glass

Fake it?

Watch the destruction in the world around you; some call it ?progress?

Fake it?

Imagine that Romantic Comedies really can happen

Fake it?

Run your hands over your body and pretend that they belong to someone else

Fake it?

Kiss my lips as you think of the pretty boys back on that boulevard

Fake it?


Everyone else does

What is not love is fear, and just that.

Profound statement, though I can't remember who said it or if I actually wrote it correctly. Its paraphrased at least.

Make Yourself
Incubus

If I hadn't made me, I would've been made somehow
If I hadn't assembled myself, I'd have fallen apart by now
If I hadn't made me, I'd be more inclined to bow
Powers that be, would have swallowed me up
But that's more than I can allow

Bow, aww yeah

If you let them make you, they'll make you paper mache
At a distance you're strong, until the wind comes
Then you crumble and blow away
If you let them fuck you, there will be no fore - play
Rest assured, they'll screw you complete
Til your ass is blue and gray

You should make amends with you
If only for better health, better health
But if you really want to live
Why not try, and make yourself

Make yourself
Make yourself

If I hadn't made me, I'd have fallen apart by now
I won't let them make me, It's more than I can allow
So when I make me, I won't be paper mache
And if I fuck me, I'll fuck me my own way

POW, fuck me in my own way
POW, fuck me in my own way
POW, fuck me in my own way
Fuck me in my own way

You should make amends with you
If only for better health, better health
But if you really want to live
Why not try, and make yourself

Make yourself
Make yourself
Make yourself
Make yourself

you're Patrick. you long to be open to the world,
but you're different so it's hard. BUT, you're
funny, very flirtatious, and you make everyone
feel cool when you're around them. Good job.
oh, and you're a gay man.


Which the Perks of Being a Wallflower Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yay...... So I'm a gay guy...... Big surprise right? *Smiles* Read the book though, it rocks. Props to Danielle.

Any way, on a sadder note, I'm single. Happened about four hours ago. Can't say that I'm happy about it or that I'm unhappy. It just kind of is right now. I can't help but feel that I am the epitamey *sp* of everything that is wrong with my family. I'm to self absorbed, I use people, I don't think of anyone else's feelings, I use people, I use people.

I wasn't trying to do any of that, I had no intent of those things. I always just felt like I was the worst me when I was around her. Don't take communication for granted.

I know she's upset right now and I also know she's getting drunk off her ass. Can't say that I blame her.

You know, sometimes its just time to end. Sometimes its just over before you want it to be. Sometimes it takes a while. Sometimes I get confused.

I'm allowed to be human.

Neither of us should be martyrs. We're both at fault.

E-mail, im's, ice cream, stars, dorm room, dorm bed, dorm tv, dorm music, talking about nothing, trying to speak spanish, friends, carrot, music, feeling, support, parents, turkey, movies, nemo, lips, paintings, music..........

lost..........

The Love Song of J. Alfred Pufrock
C.S. Lewis

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo.

Dante Alighieri. Ladivina Commédia
Inferno, XXVII, 61-66

Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky,
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats,
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question...
Oh, do not ask, "What is it?"
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go,
Talking of Michaelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the windowpanes
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle upon the windowpanes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the windowpanes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go,
Talking of Michaelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?"
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair--
(They will say: "How his hair is growing thin!")
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin,
(They will say: "But how his arms and legs are thin!")
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions that a minute will reverse.

For I have known them already, known them all-
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons,
I know the voices dying with a dying fall,
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all-
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling ton he wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all,
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare,
(But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!)
Is it perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie around a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And how should I then presume?
And how should I begin?

Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep... tired... or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet - and here's no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worthwhile,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball,
To roll it towards some overwhelming question,
To say, "I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all," --
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say, "That is not what I meant, at all."
"That is not it, at all."

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worthwhile,
After the sunsets and dooryards and sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor--
And this, and so much more?--
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worthwhile
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning towards the window, should say:
"That is not it, at all,
That is not what I meant, at all."

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous,
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old... I grow old...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves,
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea,
By sea-girls wreathed in seaweed, red and brown,
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

Best fucking poem ever........