Someday

I swear to god that someday I'll find someone who I can be with more than once a week, a month, a year. It seems that I can't find anyone to be intimate with without traveling great distances. There have been so many wonderful people that I have wanted to date, but couldn't or we tried and it didn't work over distance. Analise. Erin. Megan. Stasha. Now, there is Mayra. I am amazed that someone like her exists. She and I chilled in her dorm room Friday night and spent the entire time talking!!! It didn't dissipate into making out instantly. We talked and flirted and just were without worrying to much about it. Truly wonderful.

However, distance and my lack of time prevents a relationship. Maybe after the crazyness is over, right?

Bumble Bee is doing just fine.

Three Days
Pat Green

Wake up, what you been dreaming about
I ain't got a lot to say, but I could talk to you for hours
The way you talk, the way that you breathe
The way that your spirit moves into me
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up

I got three days to wash the road out of my soul
I got three days to love you out of control
And I wish I had a lifetime to hold onto this way
Love can do some healing in just three days

Yeah, and hold me and help me understand
Why on Earth I have to be such a stupid man
To live the way I do, dream the dreams I dream
So far away from you, yeah
Hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me

I got three days to wash the road out of my soul
I got three days to love you out of control
And I wish I had a lifetime to hold onto this way
Love can do some healing in just three days

Three days and nights to put some life back in this man
I ain't holding nothing back
You got all I am
Hearts and souls and dreams in the palm of your hand

I got three days to wash the road out of my soul
I got three days to love you out of control
And I wish I had a lifetime to hold onto this way
Love can do some healing in just three days

I got three days to wash the road out of my soul
I got three days to love you out of control
And I wish I had a lifetime to hold onto this way
Love can do some healing in just three days

Check The Leadership

I don't feel particuarly inspired today

That, of course, doesn't mean that its been a bad day, its been quite a good day in fact. I just don't feel like doing anything. I want to relax and read a book.

I've got lots and lots to do for school, lots and lots to do for the regions, lots and lots to do for myself.

I ran 10 hills today with a two mile warm up. I feel tired, but good.

I got to talk to Dr. Bodiford today. Dr. Bodiford might be my one kindred soul in Joshua. He's a Spanish teacher, a History professor. He inspires me. He opens himself up everyday to his classes, lecturing not only on Spanish, but on the benefits of learning, the pointlessness of mundane mediocrecy. On the first day of class last year he knew everyone's name. In thirty minutes, he learned 30 people's names. He talked about Aristole, the Socratic method, Thomas Jefferson's views on liberty, seperation of church and state. That was a normal day with Dr. Bodiford. He is an extremly spiritual man. He is a true, admirable Christian. He truly inspires me.

'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.' Jeremiah 33:3

I feel inspired now.

Strength

I am strength. I am powerful. I am balanced. I am centered. I can do anything.

"You can do it if you put your mind to it"

I am beautiful.

I am me.

Yay for me.

There are a million and one things going on in my life right now; I am content with them. I am happy to be involved with all of them and I am honored to be able to serve, share and participate in everything.

I woke up this morning and ran five and a half miles. What did you do?

*tee hee*

So, I need to finish that family group for the first rally of the year *does a cartwheel and then a backflip*.

Just for your info., I can't do either.

Beautiful
Joydrop

If I was beautiful like you
Oh the things I would do
Those not so blessed would be crying out murder
And I'd just laugh and get away with it too
Like you do

If I was beautiful like you
I would never be at fault
I'd walk in the rain between the rain drops
Bringing traffic to a halt

But that would never be
Never, never be
Cause I'm not beautiful like you
I'm beautiful like me, I'm beautiful like me

If I was beautiful like you
I'd be quick to assume
They'd do anything to please me, why not
I see their reaction when you walk into the room

But that would never be
Never, never, never be
Cause I'm not beautiful like you
I'm beautiful like me, beautiful like me
Beautiful, beautiful like me
Like me, Like me...

If I was beautiful like you
I'd have so many friends
All fighting for my time to be next in line
So if I hurt one, I wouldn't have to make amends

But that would never be
Never, never, never be
Cause I'm not beautful like you
I'm not beautiful like you
I'm not beautiful like you
I'm beautiful like me
I'm Beautiful like me, beautiful like me
I'm beautiful like me, I'm beautiful like me

Merry Christmas.

c Ent aur16 6: can I sign your name on a forward list of ppl who believe in God? it's almost to 300
dabopgk: well, it depends on how you define God
c Ent aur16 6: *sigh*
c Ent aur16 6: are you a Christian?
dabopgk: depends on how you define christian
c Ent aur16 6: never mind then
dabopgk: do you really give up that fast?
c Ent aur16 6: how can I win?
dabopgk: is the point really to win or to understand?
c Ent aur16 6: you won't answer my questions?
c Ent aur16 6: do you call yourself a Christian? that's all I'm asking
dabopgk: i might, but then you might disagree with that statement
dabopgk: define a christian, please
c Ent aur16 6: it's defined in the Bible
dabopgk: how so?
c Ent aur16 6: "I am the way, the truth, and the light. No one comes to the Father except through me." People who believe in that statement and actually made the decision to trust Jesus.
c Ent aur16 6: (or life)
c Ent aur16 6: (my bad. not light)
dabopgk: if thats how you define christianity, then no, i am not a christian
c Ent aur16 6: I'm sorry
c Ent aur16 6: it's not anything to joke about tho
dabopgk: i'm not joking
dabopgk: i take spirituality very seriously, i agree that it is nothing to joke about
c Ent aur16 6: well if you've never made that decision I will pray for you
dabopgk: but i have made that decision
c Ent aur16 6: you just said by my definition you're not a Christian
c Ent aur16 6: and I got it straight from the Bible
dabopgk: i made the decision not to be a christian from your definition, which you got straight from the bible
c Ent aur16 6: what decision did you make?
dabopgk: see above paragraph
c Ent aur16 6: I don't understand it
dabopgk: i decided not to be a christian based on that definition of christianity
dabopgk: the definition that you gave me, which you got straight from the bible
c Ent aur16 6: do you serve Jesus?
dabopgk: yes
dabopgk: i serve Spirit everyday of my life
c Ent aur16 6: well you just called Him a liar
dabopgk: no i didn't
c Ent aur16 6: yes you did
dabopgk: that was an assumption that you made
c Ent aur16 6: Jesus said he was the way, the truth, and the life. if you don't believe that then you're calling him a liar
dabopgk: i don't disagree with that
dabopgk: i don't believe he is the only way
c Ent aur16 6: He said He was
dabopgk: not everyone is always right
c Ent aur16 6: Jesus is
dabopgk: who decided that?
c Ent aur16 6: the fact that He is
c Ent aur16 6: He said "NO one comes to the Father except through me."
dabopgk: well, that can be interpreted differently
c Ent aur16 6: no it can't
dabopgk: in the bible it is also states "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:28
c Ent aur16 6: who was it written to?
c Ent aur16 6: that was written to a church of believers in Galatia. They were already Christians. what he was saying was that all Christians were in one in Christ Jesus
dabopgk: but why would god/jesus/spirit seperate anyone from love?
c Ent aur16 6: He doesn't
c Ent aur16 6: sin does
dabopgk: so, define sin
c Ent aur16 6: you seperated yourself. if you shoot yourself you don't blame anybody else
c Ent aur16 6: ok
c Ent aur16 6: sin is disobediance to God. if you know something's wrong, whether your parents told you, or your teacher, or it's a governmental law, or from the Bible, and you do it anyways, that's sin
dabopgk: but what if your parents law, teachers law, governments law contradicts the bible?
c Ent aur16 6: that's where you cross the line
dabopgk: explain?
c Ent aur16 6: ok
c Ent aur16 6: suppose the government outlaws churches. do you stop worshiping God? no!
c Ent aur16 6: and this goes on in many countries such as China
dabopgk: but then aren't you sinning?
c Ent aur16 6: no. if any other law contradicts God's law you obey God. why wouldn't you?
dabopgk: i was just going by your definition of sin
c Ent aur16 6: it's a good question
c Ent aur16 6: but to answer your other question, it's sin that seperates you from God
dabopgk: so, once you sin, you're screwed?
c Ent aur16 6: basically
c Ent aur16 6: except
dabopgk: lol, i'm glad you caught yourself
c Ent aur16 6: I wasn't planning on leaving it at that lol
c Ent aur16 6: except for the sacrifice of Jesus
c Ent aur16 6: answer me this: sin- is it crummy or not?
dabopgk: by crummy you mean bad?
c Ent aur16 6: yeah. I mean, you steal, it's all fun until you get caught
dabopgk: here, i'll give you my definition of sin
dabopgk: Sin originally comes from Greek, which was the main language used by the people at the time of Jesus' life. Sin, in Greek, means to miss a target. When you miss a target in real life, you pick up another arrow and take another shot, get back on the horse and try again. By no means are you ever completely exhausted of chances
c Ent aur16 6: under the analogy, what's the significance of sin?
dabopgk: to learn
dabopgk: sin is to strong a connatative word for me
c Ent aur16 6: that's not good enough
dabopgk: i prefer mistake
dabopgk: who says its not good enough?
c Ent aur16 6: me
dabopgk: you do
dabopgk: exactly
dabopgk: what authority do have, exactly?
dabopgk: *by no means am i trying to be rude, i'm just following a logical thought progression*
c Ent aur16 6: me too
dabopgk: do YOU have, excuse me
dabopgk: thats understood
c Ent aur16 6: ok
c Ent aur16 6: I'm tired, so gimme a minute to clear my head
dabopgk: its all good
c Ent aur16 6: lol
c Ent aur16 6: I just don't want to give the wrong answer
dabopgk: there are no answers
c Ent aur16 6: yes there are
dabopgk: no wrong answers lol
dabopgk: there are answers, i agree with that
c Ent aur16 6: there are wrong answers
c Ent aur16 6: ok. I'll rephrase
c Ent aur16 6: when you say there are no wrong answers, do you believe it to be correct?
dabopgk: yes
c Ent aur16 6: then you contradict yourself
dabopgk: i believe there are answers
dabopgk: i believe there are no wrong answers
dabopgk: those two statements do not contradict themselves
c Ent aur16 6: what you said was an answer
dabopgk: i didn't say it was wrong though, did i?
c Ent aur16 6: if I said it was wrong, could I be wrong?
dabopgk: nope
dabopgk: thats the beauty of it
c Ent aur16 6: ah
c Ent aur16 6: you've found the perfect strategy
dabopgk: who am i define what is right for you?
dabopgk: you are the only one to do that
c Ent aur16 6: Becca that's a total clepout
c Ent aur16 6: you can't change reality by saying nobody's wrong, therefore you can never be wrong
dabopgk: lol, i have no idea who this is
c Ent aur16 6: lol
c Ent aur16 6: Joseph, Michael's friend
dabopgk: oh, i see lol
dabopgk: i forgot man, my computer deleted all of my buddies so i forgot who was who
c Ent aur16 6: lol
dabopgk: i know who you are joseph
c Ent aur16 6: that's ok. I forget quicker than you do
dabopgk: who says i'm changing reality
c Ent aur16 6: reality is that there is a right and wrong. you know that. and you know you can't change that by saying there's no wrong
c Ent aur16 6: and I'm not judging you, I'm saying it because I care about you
dabopgk: but who says i can't
c Ent aur16 6: I do
dabopgk: but who are you to define me?
c Ent aur16 6: I'm me
dabopgk: and how does that qualify you to define me
dabopgk: ?
c Ent aur16 6: I'm not defining you
c Ent aur16 6: I'm saying you can't change a spiritual reality
c Ent aur16 6: unless it's your relationship with God
c Ent aur16 6: you can't change a truth by disbelieving in it
dabopgk: but how is that different from me saying there is no wrong answer
dabopgk: ?
dabopgk: oh, damn, i gotta go, my mom needs the computer. we'll continue at some other time.
dabopgk: good bless
c Ent aur16 6: ok
c Ent aur16 6: I will pray for you
dabopgk: much appreciated

Nothing of any substance seems to be coming from these hands, these fingers, this mind.

Sometimes I'm just so tired that my eye lids droop and my brain puts up a screen saver.

It seems as if the world is spinning round and round in slow motion, contradicting itself at every turn.

Body is stale, frozen, petrified in this chair. Sleep deprived and motionless, eyes wavering in closure.

Dude, I need some sleep.