Animosity

I have that semi-sick feeling in my stomach once again. It is once again over a girl. However, this is not just any girl, this is Becky.

Last time I posted I was completely infatuated with Donovan. Since then I have talked to him and I have been turned down. I let that ride on my shoulders for a few hours and then I shook it off, only to find once again a beautiful, seductive Becky looking me in the eyes. I decided to give her another chance and began to talk to her again. By Tuesday night I had kissed her, though not very well *winks*, and by Wednesday night she and I were together again. Thursday after school she broke up with me. Now, this wasn't random, I guess it was for a decent reason. Her best friend is *in love* with me and when Stephanie, the friend, found out, she began to cry. Becky felt amazingly bad and broke things off with me. I blew up and spent the rest of the night fighting/apologizing with Stephanie and talking to Amy and Keri. The next day Becky wrote me a long heart felt letter apologizing for what happened. She didn't ask for another chance or anything like that, she just said that when she was with me, she had everything she wanted. Those words melted my anger and the next time I saw her I asked her out, yet again. She said yes. She came to the football game last night to watch me play in the band and even risked being seen as a *geek* to eat with me during third quarter. Lol. It was nice.

Yeah, now back to that animosity feeling. I don't know if Becky can stay true to anyone...... She's technically not been a very *good* girl in physical relationships. She told me that she usually makes out with 2 to 3 people when she goes to parties, regardless of who she's *with* at the time. She did also promise that she wouldn't do that to me. I don't know if I can trust her. This is the 4th time for her and I to go out, and frankly, all of my friends are angry at me because of it. They think that she's using me, and she very well could be, but I don't think she is. The situation looks bad, but they don't know the whole story. They don't feel the electricity when she and I are together. Its nice *smiles*. I'm trying just to blow this feeling off and believe that she is doing what she promised, I'm trying to not make this an issue before it is one. I really, really do like her.....



Falling In Love Again
Eagle Eye Cherry

Well I’m so tired
Of falling in love
Finding it easier to fall out
You can’t deny it
I feel it inside Cupid’s fire
I can’t hide

But I’m falling in love again
Ain’t nothing I can do
Falling in love again
Girl this time it’s with you
When I fall
It’s always the same
And I’m so tired
Of playing this game

It’s been so long now
Since I gave up my heart
I’ve kept it locked down
I don’t wanna get it harmed
So let me tell you now
I just want to be sure
That you won’t hurt me
Can you promise me that

Because I’m falling in love again
Ain’t nothing I can do
Falling in love again
Girl this time it’s with you
When I fall
It’s always the same
And I’m so tired
Of playing this game

You got to tell me
If you’re going to break my heart
‘Cos I don’t wanna take the chance
And if it ain’t true
All it’s gonna be
Is nothing but a poor romance
So give me that promise to hold on
And I’ll never let you go
We gotta have something to go on
Or I’m letting you know now

I’m falling in love again
Ain’t nothing I can do
Falling in love again
Girl this time it’s with you
When I fall
It’s always the same
And I’m so tired
Of playing this game
Falling in love again (repeat)