Becky's Lost in Hell!!!

No, wait, thats me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Becko that is. Yeah, sweet beautiful Becky dumped me Thursday. Amy, her first girlfriend, had been writing her letters and flirting with her as soon as I showed interest in Becky. Except Amy is in love with Keri, and Keri wants me. Its just the greatest thing ever. By the way, I know all of these things to be true because 1. Amy told me about Keri 2. Keri keeps flirting with me and asking me out 3. I'm pretty sure I like Becky and 4. Becky told me she was confused and just didn't want a relationship right now because she still liked Amy, but she still liked me. Pretty damn confusing, aye?

I feel like I'm getting the raw deal here. Becky keeps asking me in a sweet voice why exactly I like her. When I answer she bows her head a little, blushes and barely looks at me. By the way girls, that drives me nuts, cute faces from a beautiful girl *YIKES*. Then, after she does the epitamy of flirting, she writes me a note telling me she doesn't want a relationship. Now, does that seem fair? No, it doesn't. I think I'm gonna just drop the whole thing.

I asked Donovan if he was attracted to me today. He flatly said no, that he is attracted to no one, but that if he ever was, I would be the first. Ok, sure, whatever you say.

I need to be secure in myself before I date someone, and I feel pretty secure in myself, but I want to be sure. No crazy dependencies.

Speaking of that, Analise and I never talk. We never write, we never communicate. It upsets me. I miss my best friend.

I'm scrolling through my songs on my computer and almost every one of them reminds me of her. We had a song once, two songs actually. Happy Together by the Turtles and Famous by Vertical Horizon. I feel a little weird listening to Happy Together nowadays. I had always wanted that to be an *our* song for me. If that makes sense.

I only think about her when it rains.........


Strawberry Wine
Deana Carter

He was working through college on my grandpa's farm
I was thirsting for for knowledge and he had a car
I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child
When one restless summer we found love growing wild
On the banks of the river on a well beaten path
Funny how those memories they last

Like strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine

I still remember when thirty was old
My biggest fear was September when he had to go
A few cards and letters and one long distance call
We drifted away like the leaves in the fall
But year after year I come back to this place
Just to remember the taste

Of strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine

The fields have grown over now
Years since they've seen a plow
There's nothing time hasn't touched
Is it really him or the loss of my innocence
I've been missing so much

Like strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine