*doo doo doot doot doo doo doo doot doot*


-------And Now For A Becca Update-------

We lost both games last week so no worries about missing the play off game, there won't be one. I expected to lose on Tuesday night and I expected a run for the money on Friday; I didn't expect for the team to give up.

The first goal was a fluke. The rest of the team is convinced that is wasn't actually in and I have suspicions myself. Regardless of if it was in or not, they gave up after that. Stopped marking their man, stopped guarding, stopped trying. Some of them weren't even trying to begin with. Very frusterating for me and even more so for my coach. She and I are kindred souls. I sit at the front of the bus and talk to her the entire ride about school, soccer, track, really anything that comes to mind. I think that without her the lack of intelligent conversation might kill me. Don't get me wrong, we've got smart girls on the team, they just fail to show it.

Coach Gantt and I have come to the conclusion that the girls don't have, shall we say, "heart." They lack desire, passion, zeal. They don't hunger for victory, strive for the win. They settle for less. We've also come to the conclusion that you can't coach "heart."

The girls have to take their lives into their hands. They have to control what is happening around them. It is possible. We are the only reasons that life happens. It happens because of us. Without us, it would cease to exist. Control your destiny, don't sit back and watch the world go by.

My Aunt Becky, yes the one I'm named after, sent me a card once after a big soccer tournement. It had a picture of a guy sitting on a staircase saying, "Good things come to those who wait...... *open card*....... But great things come to people who get off their butts and do something about it!!!"

I love that card.


Drumline is excellent. We had a contest in Houston this weekend; damn bus ride was ten hours round trip *grumble grumble*. Yay for charter buses and getting a seat to myself!!! Any way, we did well musically but even better socially. This was one of the first trips where none of us fought or even wanted to. We all were comfortable with each other in the best way. They even liked the team building exercise that I randomly decided to do!!!!!!!!! It was great to hang out with them, even if it was physically draining to loose all of that sleep.

The drumline is beginning to learn what passion is.


The first time I can remember being exposed to passion was when my big brother was in high school. It was the first time I really recognized it for what it was. Ben had picked me up from a soccer practice and we were driving home with the radio blasting and both of us singing at the top of our lungs to some wonderful punk song. He and I rarely talked in the car; between us gasping for breathe and the heavy bass lines in the music, there wasn't really a way. We sang our hearts out.

We stopped at a stop light, waiting for our turn to go, still singing as loud as possible when I realized that one of my team mates was in front of us, looking back and waving at me. I waved and then continued belting out the lines. The girl thought I was trying to be funny, laughing and pointing. I was impassioned by the moment, by the music, by the harmony of the disharmony between my brother's deep bass and my alto.

The light changed, we drove on, the girl turned around and we kept singing.

Those who don't understand the passion, the deep, true, abidding love for life will ridicule, will misunderstand, will look at you with their head cocked sideways and then laugh because they don't realize the power of the moment. I live my life with that passion, with that love. I act with that feeling at school, at home, at soccer, at church, at band, at everything. I live life with passion.

I don't understand those who don't.

And now for something completely different!

Yay for Monty Python!

*AHEM*

Oh, right.....

As of yesterday K.C. and I have been dating for a month. We spent most of the day together, watching movies and snuggling on her bed, which, by the way, has pink satin sheets *wink wink nudge nudge say-no-more*. We half-heartedly watched the first episode of Invader Zim, which I will admit is starting to grow on me, and entertained ourselves. We were both extremely emotional at times, her trying to be ok with the drama in her life and me having a sudden panic attack.

We had been entertaining ourselves for quite sometime when suddenly an unidentified random emotion siezed every ounce of my being. I felt like crying, running away, jumping into her arms and never letting go. Extreme conflicting emotions. I felt as if I was going to lose her, as if she was going to run away, as if I was going to run away...... Almost as if we would suddenly look at each other, say our good byes and part forever and for no reason at all. I felt that perhaps, we would just grow tired of each other and it made me feel sick. I couldn't look into her eyes for fear of...... of something, of anything at all.

Luckily, I got over that. I'm not sure what the feeling was or what it meant. I think I was fearing deja vu, fearing that she could suddenly stop putting me first, stop caring about me, start treating me like crap, as each has happened in past relationships. I don't think that any of those are a possibility in this case, thank you god!

We decided to do something else besides entertain ourselves and ended up playing video games. A child of mine will never play Grand Theft Auto lol. That game scares the shit out of me. The army has been using certain video games to train for war. Terrorists should use GTA!!! It really does scare the shit out of me.

After playing scary video games, I wrestled with her little brother, which led to a slight bloody nose, which led to much babying and sweetness. I enjoyed that.

Following that, K.C. and I escaped to her backyard where we watched the stars and snuggled more. The night before we had seen the moon together, though we were each seperatly at our own houses. It was "vunderful."

The cold finally got to us and we climbed upstairs again to her room to make use of aforementioned satin sheets.

*Teehee*

Ok, not really, but kind of *giggles*........

I fell asleep around 10:00 and she cradled me in her arms. It was heaven. I woke up at one point only to be showered with radiant love. The last words that I heard before I drifted back into sweet slumber were her declarations of love, of devotion, of gratitude. I have never slept more soundly, more secure than when I layed in her arms. I never wanted it to end.

Unfortunatly it did, and I was late getting home.........

I am left without words to describe my feelings, left without the ability to speak or to grasp the blessings that have been bestowed upon me. I am so, so, so blessed and so loved and so grateful to have her in my life.

Thank you god.

This Is Your Life
Switchfoot

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you?ve broken
Don?t close your eyes
Don?t close your eyes

This is your life and today is all you?ve got now
And today is all you?ll ever have
Don?t close your eyes
Don?t close your eyes

This is your life
Are you who you want to be
This is your life
Are you who you want to be
This is your life
Is it everything you?ve dreamed it would be
When the world was younger
And you had everything to lose

Don?t close your eyes
Don?t close your eyes

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over

This is your life
Are you who you want to be
This is your life
Are you who you want to be
This is your life
Is everything you?ve dreamed it would be
When the world was younger
And you had everything to lose

Don?t close your eyes
Don?t close your eyes