Every Day
Howdy ya'll.....
Life is falling back in to my neatly defined grooves, though it did not wander to far from home. I again feel comfortable around Megan. The last couple weeks I felt as if everything between her and I had gone to pot. I was so stressed that I didn't even want to think about having a girlfriend, even less about the one I had. We had a really good discussion about love at church today and it made me feel better.
Love is not a commitment. Love is not saying that I owe someone something or that they in return owe me something. Love is not forever. Love is a namaste. Love is seeing the soul, seeing the beauty, seeing the light in someone else. Love is not a commitment. Love is namaste.
God, those words make me feel so much better. Ever since Analise and I broke up I've had some problems with emotion, with attraction, with love. I just thought about how every moment I ever had with her was amazing, was breathtaking, was an emotional upheaval, and that simply is not how real relationships are. I saw her once every, ohhhhh four months and then only for a few days in which we were allowed no sexual expressions of our love for each other. We did kiss, however, but sparingly and guiltly. Besides those few moments of solitude she and I shared, every moment was taunt, every moment was spent in wanting. Megan and I of course have those breathtaking moments, but it isn't every moment, it isn't every time. Thats how relationships really are, thats how they really work. I'm glad that I know that finally.
As for Erin, I love the girl to death, she is amazing and kind and wonderful, but not now. I had a great time talking to you, thank you for making me feel better after that horrible game. I would like to say that though for moments I was confused, I had my intentions aimed upon what was right.
Shandsamapoo is fucking awesome for those of you that don't know.
Rock on.
All I Wanna Do
Sheryl Crow
Hit it!
This ain't no disco
It ain't no country club either
This is LA!
"All I wanna do is have a little fun before I die,"
Says the man next to me out of nowhere
It's apropos of nothing
He says his name's William but I'm sure
He's Bill or Billy or Mac or Buddy
And he's plain ugly to me
And I wonder if he's ever had a day of fun in his whole life
We are drinking beer at noon on Tuesday
In a bar that faces a giant car wash
The good people of the world are washing their cars
On their lunch break, hosing and scrubbing
As best they can in skirts in suits
They drive their shiny Datsuns and Buicks
Back to the phone company, the record store too
Well, they're nothing like Billy and me, cause
All I wanna do is have some fun
I got a feeling I'm not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
I got a feeling I'm not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard
I like a good beer buzz early in the morning
And Billy likes to peel the labels
From his bottles of Bud
He shreds them on the bar
Then he lights every match in an oversized pack
Letting each one burn down to his thick fingers
Before blowing and cursing them out
And he's watching the bottles of Bud as they spin on the floor
And a happy couple enters the bar
Dangerously close to one another
The bartender looks up from his want ads
All I wanna do is have some fun
I got a feeling I'm not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
I got a feeling I'm not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard
Otherwise the bar is ours,
The day and the night and the car wash too
The matches and the Buds and the clean and dirty cars
The sun and the moon but
All I wanna do is have some fun
I got a feeling I'm not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
I got a feeling I'm not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
Ive got a feeling the party has just begun
All I wanna do is have some fun
I won't tell ya, that your the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard
Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard
Inside of Me
"She sings of song, of passion, of love, of laughter, of anger, of tears, of the pain, of hope, of the glory of the moon and the wind and the rain" Rachel Gaithers
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