Self
It is a confusing state of mind, to be true to yourself that is. Not when you're actually doing it, but when trying. I guess thats simply it. Just be true to yourself and there are no worries. Except when you're trying to be true to someone else as well.
Serve soul and spirit. Self and self.
Sometimes you just don't want to.
I. Sometimes I don't want to.
Oh, and the entry before, ignore the egotism, look at the message.
Inside of Me
"She sings of song, of passion, of love, of laughter, of anger, of tears, of the pain, of hope, of the glory of the moon and the wind and the rain" Rachel Gaithers
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
About Me
- Name: Becca
- Location: Annandale-On-Hudson, New York, United States
I am fun. I am a musician. I am crazy. I am sexy. I am a poet. I am alone. I am free. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I am loved. I am a leader. I am a writer. I am dancing. I am. I am. I AM.
Previous Posts
- I Am A Catalyst Change seems to happen in a flurr...
- The Relativity of Time It feels like it has been...
- Six Hours, Thirty Nine Minutes I'm talking to you...
- Distance.
- Credit to Stephanie for the pic. Winter Rally Spi...
- Journey I'm going to be gone for awhile. Nine da...
- "What I will say is that... ...I'll always be le...
- Wow....... Vindicated Dashboard Confessional Hop...
- Biznatch is my new favorite word. Its always go...
- I just dropped my entire family off at the airport...
1 Comments:
Do you remember the song "things I'll never say" by Avril Lavigne? You posted the lyrics in April 2003. Do you remember when I sang it to you? Its been more than a year, and still the lyrics seem true as day to me, all of them that is. "I guess i'm wishing my life away, with these things I'll never say" At the time I didn't realize how true that part of the song was, until it was too late. We as people have changed, neither in a negative way. We have changed, and drifted. No regrets, no regrets.
With college coming for the both of us in just 2 weeks (well definately for me it is, with soccer), the distance will be far greater between us, than it has ever been before. I worry, I envy. I worry cause I know we will drift farther apart. I envy the people who will enjoy your company in the time to come. Rebecca you still hold a very large part of my heart. This year was our senior year, what happened to cool pants back during freshman year. It hardly seems we've known each other so long. One beginning soon to become an end. Is the beginning of college perhaps the final ending to the chapter that we wrote together. And then we individually start new chapters for the rest of our lives. Point being that I'm letting you know that the time we've known and spent together, I'll cherish the rest of my life.
Change has had its ups and downs with me, in this circumstance, its hard. Its hard to accept that the ones I've held so close, I actually have to let go of now, I've actually held on to you for too long I think. And thats something the old me never would have said to you.
I accept our differences, I accept the change. I've missed and will miss hanging out with you, talking to you on the net and the rare phone conversations we had.
You are a great woman Rebecca, and the only actual reply I have to this entry, is that occasionally you have to be true to yourself. I know just as well as you do, its gets exhausted always focusing on other people, you need a break every once and awhile.
The old me would post this as anonymous, but I don't care about letting strangers how I feel, but I hope you don't mind me posting this to your friends. Boppper, I love you, I always will. I only hope for the best for you, and I know you will go far. Perhaps in the years to come out paths will meet again, but until then who knows.
Love always,
C.P.
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