Hey Dr. B;

I'm sorry that I didn't get a chance to come back up again. I really intended to. When I come back in May I would love to go get lunch with you or something.

I talked to Cassie last night for the first time since May. I couldn't get into contact with her last semester or over the break. She and I had been
playing phone tag. It was great; she is really doing well. She quit her job at Sonic and is now working for a month or so as a nanny for a woman who she has baby sat for years. At the end of the month she's going to a community college (I can't remember which one, not Hill or JCCC) for two years in their honor program and then she plans to transfer to DBU. She sounds really happy.

As for what I wanted to talk to you about.... I know that you know I am not the typical 19 year old girl, and not just in my ideas and my aspirations. I sent you my essay and I know that several times you talked to my mom about the issues with Donovan Wisher last year. I can also remember glancing at a political survey that some Government class put out last year and seeing that you had circled "No" when asked about if you think homosexuals should have the right to get married. I also know that the group I intend to work with directly is the Gay Rights Movement after Law School, in fact as soon as I'm done with my youth group (time constraints not belief). I would be lying if I didn't say that I wish that I knew you approved of what I was doing, and not by some leap of logic or some exception to a rule. I wish I knew that you were proud because you believe that I'm doing the right thing.

That is where things get a bit sticky. I can't say that I know what you believe on this subject because as of yet, we've both avoided it. I can say that after being around you I don't think that you completely approve. If that is the case, I ask you to reconsider. I don't think that I would feel comfortable asking someone to change their belief on any other subject. This, however, is very different to me. This is personal, this resides so deep inside of me that when people reject the idea, it isn't just a rejection of an ideal, it's a rejection of me, of my gay friends, of my gay uncle and his wonderful partner, it's a rejection of a group of wonderful, kind, generous, dedicated, friendly people.

Last night, Cassie told me that it had taken nine months of no contact with me for her to realize that it didn't matter. She told me last night that she loved me, all of me and that there was nothing holding her back now. When I talked to Melissa during the break it seemed as if she was stuck between what she believed about who I am and what she was taught. During the whole of our time together in high school, the three of us were continually aware of a wall that lay between us. They couldn't love me because I was an "abomination" and I in turn couldn't honestly open up to them because they felt that way. It's always divided us. I am so glad that Cassie has realized that I'm not being influence by the devil or doing this simply to be deviant (neither of which is the case). I'm hoping in time that Melissa will drop the wall as well.

I don't know how much of this is necessary or how much convincing you need. On this issue, I don't think that I really am willing to agree to disagree with you. By no means will I stop loving you or stop writing or stop being in contact with you if you disagree. I care too much for you to do that. I just don't think that I'll ever let it rest. I am not the product of bad parenting, of a biological mistake, of the devil or of some other person or things influence (not that you implied any of these things). I am a whole person and I am truly myself now more than I ever have been before. I hope that you can recognize that in all aspects of my life.

A good friend of mine recommend a book to me over break and in turn I would like to recommend it to you. It's called "The Children are Free". It isn't the best written book and the authors, at some points, drive me insane with their idiotic banter, but it does break down, dissect and put into historical perspective biblical scriptures that have been used against gays and lesbians for years. I would appreciate it if you read it.

I do love you Dr. B and I do have the utmost respect for you. You are my favorite teacher and I am grateful for all of the times you helped me open up my mind and see something from a different perspective. I hope that I can do the same for you. Again, I love you.

Feel Free and Good Bless.

Becca